Friday, March 23, 2007
Continuing on from yesterday's post, i recently settled a major problem that was affecting my life till last week. The reason why i said that it was linked to the word "friends" was cos i finally managed to settle the problems which i had with my dear buddy Valentino aka Takuya.
We sort of fell out over something a few months ago that come to think of it, really was quite a small matter afterall. However, it took months for us to finally resolved our differences. Only god knows the reason why it took us so long to settle the conflict between the both of us. I think the main root of our problems was down to the word ego. People who knew me well enough would know that i'm very egoistic. Unfortunately, he was equally as egoistic as me, thus neither of us was willing to make the first move to talk to each other. This grave matter i could see, caused a few tension within the group whenever we were out together. As my other buddy Jack could easily vouch for it as the feeling all of us had was really so different as compared to the past. It was like though he was sitting opposite me while chilling out, however, we wouldn't talk to each other. Just the occasional stares at one another. I would then talk to either Jack or Erica etc. and vice versa. Similarly, he would be doing the same thing. I realised that Jack and Erica were being put in a difficult situation which neither of them deserved to be in. That's why if either of u are seeing this now, i would like to sincerely apologised to the both of u for all the troubles caused.
Although i couldn't really remember the exact date, but if i wasn't wrong, i decided to put a stop to this difficult situation one fine day after a chilling out session at our regular hunt, the hong kong cafe at marina sq. I went back and thought over everything carefully, asking myself this question, what was more important, retaining my pride or losing this friendship that was important to me. Believe me, it did not take me long at all to make up my mind. I came down to the conclusion that our friendship was of much more significance. Afterall, what can the word "mian zi" or "face" do for me? Would it be able to earn me any extra cash? The simple answer is NO at all! If i were to still be clueless over everything, then i reckon that i would be the world's most foolish guy!
After making up my mind to patch things up, i was still facing a problem, which was how should i approach him to settle our differences? Afterall, we had not talked to each other for months. In the end, i enlisted the help of Erica to be the ice-breaker for the both of us. Looking at the expression on her face as she conversed with him over the phone immediately made me realised that all was well. Without further ado, i rushed down to east coast to meet up with him. After a long talk, everything was back to normal. Honestly, we did not really talked much bout the conflicts between us, as both of us knew that this was all a small matter and that most importantly, it was all in the past, no point raking it up. Instead, we caught up with old times, the events that had happened in my life and his over the past few months, especially the problems which i faced as he had sensed that something was not right with me just that like me, he did not know how to open up and talked to me. I don't blame him at all for feeling that way. Moreover, he's really one of my closest buddy that knows me well enough as though we did not talked to one another, yet he somehow felt that i was troubled. As we left east coast that night, everything was back to normal like the good old days and our friendship was finally back on track. The rest as they say, is history.
Come to think of it, i seriously think that i'm sort of cursed in friendships. I mean, i would always encounter problems with every group of friends that were close to me at different phrases of my life. Either i'm very unlucky or all these were down to the word fate, though i would like to think of the latter as the main cause to my problems. Furthermore, i realised that whenever i'm in any relationships, my friendship with one of my friends would always turned sour. A very good example would be losing two different groups of close friends over my life. There's only ever 2 gals whom i really truely love with all my heart and it's surely not sheer coincidence that my friendship with my poly mates and my army buddies went downhill once i was attached, as i seem to focus too much attention and effort into my relationships, in the process neglecting my friends. I lost Ruben and Jacky when i was with Xiaojie and in similar fashion, Andre and Chris when i was with Eleanor. Haiz..
Through all these past experiences, i was all the more determined not to lose Val and co. although i was also in a relationship of my own a few months ago. I did not want history to repeat itself. Furthermore, friends were an integral part of my life and this group of guys were really good and worthy friends that one could be proud of having as company. Actually, to be honest, i'm really quite a lucky boy in the sense that besides them, i too have a group of friends that were simply all just marvellous guys. They were my peeps, my fellow brothers and sisters, Eddy, Joanna, Sharon etc. Come on, in our generation, to be very close friends for 10 years would be considered quite an achievement already, ain't i right? Ha! That's why i always consoled myself of the fact that whenever i was feeling down, irregardless whatever bad things that had happen to me, i would forever have true friends that would be there for me when i need them to be.
A million thanks to all u fellas out there who have been there for me whenever i need u guys to be. No words could ever described my inner and utmost feelings which i hoped to express to u people, the gratitute and all. As long as i'm still around in this world, i promised u guys that i would forever be there for u when u need my help.
Lastly, to Val if ya reading this, really sorry for what had happened in the past, and let's put aside all our problems and look ahead to the future of a very, very long road that's ahead for the two of us and may our friendship last forever. T & T International, SG Boys and now Bad Boyz.. Plenty more to come tio bo? Haha! The picture below symbolizes the unique friendship between the both of us. Cheers!!!
&faded to grey at 3:16:00 AM♥
