Wednesday, August 30, 2006
A Brand New Beginning...
Finally got my blog set up. Hooray! So different from the simple one in friendster, and plus my busy schdule hence the late delay. But as the saying goes "better late den never"...
So many happenings in my life over these past few mths that even till now, at times, i still feel as though i'm living in my own world, everything seems so surreal. From the moment i completed the commitment i had to the government, all the way to my present state which is having the chance to further my studies. In between of cos was one of the worst and darkest moments of my life as i "fell" very badly. Such that i even suffered from depression for a period of time. Now, i know some of u guys must be wondering wat the hell had happened to me rite? Afterall, the Calvin whom u guys knew has always been jovial and carries a smile on his face wherever he goes. No worries, happy-go-lucky kind of guy who never seems to have any problems. But matter of fact was i had 1 which i did not know what to do, thus when the problem came, i was caught offguard and did not know how to react. As for the reason to my sufferings, i would like to keep it entirely to myself, burying it in a deep corner of my heart. Hope u peeps understand..
Honestly, through that incident, i really learnt many things. Some very valuable lessons that no amount of money in this world can buy them. I was also enlightened to an alarming fact that was harbouring in the back of my mind all along. I came to realised the true importance of friendship. Looking back, i'm actually feeling quite remorseful for the fact that i've actually neglected many of my friends over the years. Used to be busy with relationships that's why, but nevertheless, they were still there for me when i needed them. I'll never ever forget whatever they have done for me, especially my closest group of friends dating back to our secondary school days.
Edward(my best bud), thanks for all that u have done for me. Always being there and lending your help unconditionally for me. There's no best friend out there like u man! Without u honestly behind me over the years, and especially during the mths from May onwards till now, there wouldn't be me! I'm dead serious.
My lovable sisters, Sharon & Min, thanks for all the understanding and the care and concern which both of u showered me with when i needed it. I really appreciate all the heart-to-heart conversations which we had, though i wish that this thing would never ever happen to me in my entire life again.
My lovely neighbour Mel, for doing alot for me throughout this period of time though i'm sure u still do not know what had happened to me. Seriously, i'm still experiencing a sense of guiltyness after disappearing from your life and then to reappear in it all over again, yet for u to still treat me the same as before. I really enjoyed all the fun times with u, and of cos with the "new" bunch of people from CG; our blading sessions, nite "roadtrip" etc etc.. Haha.
My family for being there for me upon gaining knowledge of my problems though we were AND are still enemies! But this sentence is really true that "blood is thicker than water".
Lastly, someone whom i once thought that i would never ever get back on good terms with but eventually turns out to be one of the few people that were there for me. That someone who's a very special person in my heart is Janwill, my ex gf. After how i've treated her in the past, i really never in my wildest dreams expected her to stand by me and spent time with me, consolling and knocking sense into me in the process. Although we are now not together as an item anymore, but i still feel that she's still truely the one person that knows me inside out. With her, i'm unable to hide anything at all, irregardless whether its a small or big matter. Best of all, i can be my trueself and confide all my deepest thoughts to her when we are together. Just feel so comfortable when she's by myside. Hence, made a pact with her that even though we will never become a couple again(though i can't forsee the future), but we will be each other's soul mates for life..
Through these difficult times, i also managed to find my belief in a religion. I accepted Christ and became a christian. I know to many people out there who knew me, this would be a shocking news considering the fact that i was once very anti-christ. Even till now, i'm still a little amazed by the sudden change in me. In the past, i was a free thinker and used to go to many religious places. Temples, christian churches, catholic churches, hack, even indian temples too! But a few mths back, Mel re-introduced me to christianity and invited me to her church, City Harvest. Like in the past, i saw no harm in attending service, so i agreed, albeit out of curiousity i've to admit. However, something strange happened to me on one of the occasions whereby i attended. My whole body was just shivering all of a sudden while everyone were praying in tongue. I was amazed but equally frightened to. It was like i had encountered some sort of spiritual happenings around me. At that instance, i prayed to heavenly father that if he could fulfill one wish of mine, then i would serve him loyally in the future, cos i knew deep down in my heart that the thing which i wanted was almost impossible to occur. However, and this is very very strange, cos within the space of a day, the thing which i prayed for actually came true! Ok, not entirelly true though, but almost 70%. Wow! Damn shocking rite! It was like a miracle had happened! Even till today, i'm still very surprised, but this incident told me that god is real. He's always by yourside listening to your wants and needs. Thus, i set myself to commit to him, attending services every week. Although i'm not a fully fledged christian yet, but i'm in the process of becoming one. *Mel, after seeing this, now u should know why i suddenly accepted christ rite? Hee.. (",)
Well, that's just a few happenings around my life in the past few months. Anyway, i've gotten over most of my troubles already, leading a brand new life now. Haha! What lies ahead for me in the future, i will not know. But what i do know in life is that one has to be hardworking in order to succeed cos the no.1 thing that leads to failure is the word "lazy". Nobody is born stupid or anything but if he/she is hardworking then most probably that person will succeed and lead a happy life. That's my motto in life now, to just work doubly hard, be it in my studies or work. No more time to be doing all the silly mistakes which i used to commit, thus taking a longer route to success then most of my peers.
I guess that's all for my first posting though i know it's a bit long-winded. Haha! Hope whoever that is viewing my blog to be happy in life and in return continue to visit this "well done" blog of mine. Ha! God Bless You Guys!!!
&faded to grey at 8:46:00 PM♥
